hope...

visited my dad and spent some quality time 

eating chocolate covered frozen bananas

with rainbow sprinkles

in honor of my mom...

one of her favorites.

she loved Balboa Island

and we spent the day savoring it all...

including the ferry across the water

towards the Pacific and Balboa Peninsula.

this little guy knows how to traverse the water in style.

just thought I'd let you see I really am doing OK...
smiles and tears each day
and only one day at a time is required.
a little sun and sand doesn't hurt,
but the airplane carried me back home to the rain,
and you know what?
it is just fine by me -
it's winter after all.


and I got to spend time with the giggly girls 
in art club today...

making doggies

and naming them 

and writing doggy stories.

here is mine.
what a happy little fellow -
gives me hope for the future...

snow and grief

It snowed last night...

and covered its cold veil over everything...

and reminds me of how I am feeling -
as everything looks different
and the world seems hidden
and colder.
Didn't know what to expect from grief -
I wish so much to talk to my mom about how I am feeling -
sigh...
she was my 'go to' person for talks.
I think the thing that is bothering me most 
is not being able to hear her reassuring voice -
but I really am doing ok
and I am crying less than I would have expected
and life is carrying me along
and I am even smiling.
Thanks to each of you for lifting me up
with your kind words, thoughts and prayers.
I feel them and they are a part of me.

a tribute to my mom

My dear, sweet, wonderful mom

passed away unexpectedly on Tuesday

from a torn aorta

and my world has been turned upside down...

so bear with me as I share the last photos of her 

(always with her camera in hand)

and three of the hundreds of poems she left us.

A WINDOW IN TIME

by

Phyllis Selleck

Absently, I eat dinner.

A candle on the table

glows orange

and outside the window

a moth flutters.

My cat chases the gray wings,

extending his black and brown stripes

as he swats -

claws clicking against the glass pane.

A blaze of clarity

illumines shadows in the room

and in my mind.

There is only this moment -

a window in time -

when nothing is growing older -

not the cat, moth or myself.

The window closes

and the vision ends;

each of us resumes

unfolding, aging, transcending - 

flowing through time.

and she had a sense of humor...

SAND IN THE SPINACH

by

Phyllis Selleck

It's always been like that -

slight irritations -

not important in themselves

but always there, grit

amongst healthy green leaves.

However, thorns

would be worse than sand.

So, if given a choice,

I'd take sand over thorns.

I would not like 

to lie in a bed of roses.

and she freaked me out with this photo of me holding my dog

that she just happened to photoshop for fun...

ha ha you got me mom...

and I just found this poem

which takes my breath away.

MIRROR TREATS

by

 Phyllis Selleck

As I grow older

I discover in the mirror

others in myself:

my mother

in a moment of vulnerability

before she learned to mask the hurts;

plump-cheeked, placid

Grandma Jennie touching me

with round approval;

the child I was 

with wistful look.

I wonder -

will my daughter look in the mirror 

and catch her breath

at the sight of us?

You bet I will mom...

I will miss you more than I can imagine.

I hope you are photographing and putting into words

the glory of your new home.

last glimpse of the holidays...

last photos of the season...

lights going up in the tree...

 a very clever home-made star from my daughter-in-law...

a sheep pincushion I gave my mom from Bossy's Feltworks...

 and these adorable paper clips (Anthropologie of course)

from my dear husband who knows what I like...

 and the back of them - 

how clever is that?

my two favorite furry rears (dog on left, cat on right) 

putting aside their differences

in the spirit of the season...

 our new favorite decadent potatoes au gratin made with Stilton cheese

 ready to go in the oven...

pretty ugly but oh so delicious.

5 russet potatoes

8 ounces Stilton

1 1/3 cups low-salt chicken broth

2 T butter

Layer 1/3 potatoes, half cheese, 1/3 potatoes, half cheese, finish with potatoes and then pour broth over.  Liberally add salt and pepper to each layer.  Dot with butter.

bake at 350 for 1 hour 40 minutes.  Eat and grin...

and hope for the future with these somewhat ugly beginnings

which will soon sprout white beauties.

happy New Year!

Happy New Year to you all!

veranda december 2010 pus picnik

Christmas craftiness

Finally I can share the gifts my students made before Christmas break -

didn't want any parents peeking...

First we made this happy little bird playing in a winter wonderland.

He/she is a mixed media marvel on canvas board.

So if you need a project for your little ones this week

(there's 2 more below)

then this is for you.

I painted canvas boards black,

then they painted blue over the top part 

and we glued vintage paper for the snow 

and then dry brushed white and snow glitter over it.

Black dots were stamped 

and of course we needed holly and berries and snowflakes too

(Martha Stewart punches at Michaels).

My husband drilled holes for threading a necklace and hanging by twisted wire.

The only down-side the whole project is that I didn't get one-

insert sad face here...

Our second project involved more snow

(from Easy Christmas Crafts,

a book I grabbed from the library)...

we made snowflake faces out of purchased plastic snowflakes,

and styrofoam balls (with 1/4 cut off).

First I hot-glued the styrofoam to the snowflake.

Then the kids brushed on Snow-Tex

which gave a realistic snow texture.

We made paper clay noses and let all dry until the next session.

Then we glued on the noses, painted eyes, mouth and cheeks

and finished up with a ribbon and words.

How cute are they?

The final project was a  beautiful Poinsettia plant

made of construction paper

and paper bag for the vase

(original idea came from deep space sparkle.com

but we cut out our petals rather than stamping them).

and of course glitter just makes everything look better, doesn't it?

If you make any of these projects this week 
I would love to see your creations.
Just leave your site in the comments or e-mail me your creations and I will add them here.

Merry Christmas!

this was the front of our Christmas card this year...
signing off until next week.
have a truly wonderful Christmas
from the Holdermans including
the fur ones too.