a Sunday Blessing - I am not qualified

I have been reading Madeleine L'Engle's
Walking on Water - reflections on faith and art 
and thoroughly loving it...

She talks about all the flawed heroes found in her favorite Bible verses.  Each does more than he or she could have thought possible on his own.  Jacob was a liar and a cheat, yet was given extraordinary visions of angels ascending and descending a ladder from earth to heaven.  Moses wasn't qualified to do the job God asked of him and he even tried to get out of it.  She reiterates that glimpses of God were and are not given to the qualified as they may not have the need for them.  The needy pay attention.

In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do his work, to bear his glory.  If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there's no danger that we will confuse God's work with our own.

She goes on to say that:

 It is interesting to note how many artists have had physical problems to overcome, deformities, lameness, terrible loneliness.  Could Beethoven have written that glorious paean of praise in the Ninth Symphony if he had not had to endure the dark closing in on deafness?  As I look through his work chronologically, there's no denying that it strengthens along with the deafness.  Could Milton have seen all that he sees in Paradise Lost if he had not been blind?  It is chastening to realize that those who have no physical flaw, who move through life in step with their peers, who are bright and beautiful, seldom become artists.  The unending paradox is that we do learn through pain.

She concludes:

  The world tempts us to draw back, tempts us to to believe we will not have to take this test.  We are tempted to try to avoid not only our suffering but also that of our fellow human beings, the suffering of the world, which is part of our own suffering.  

The artist cannot hold back; it is impossible, because writing, or any other discipline of art involves participation in suffering, in the ills and the occasional stabbing joys that come from being part of the human drama.

So I choose to learn through pain, to be available to see the hurt in the world,

to try and keep my eyes open and not turn away...

even though sometimes it is more than I think I can handle.

I am saddened that my finger is really numb (at least it does not hurt)

so I am scared for the future and need to rely on God

and trust in Him for my healing and 'finger abilities'.

I am going to clean the art room this week and attempt to make something

with my other 4 very capable fingers.